Recovery
by Sazzy.Chicago
Summary: Jay finds out that Erin has left for New York and his life spirals downwards from there but how will it take before Erin has to come back to rescue him.
1. chapter 1

The team walked into the district laughing and joking about when Jay's attention went straight to Erin empty desk. He walked over and opened the doors and slammed the doors shut. He stormed towards Voights office and pushed open the door, "where Erin?"

"Jay... she took the job in New York. She couldn't stay-"

"Shut up Voight"

"Excuse me" Voight stood up from his chair.

"Neither of you thought to tell me" Jay walked out of the office and was pacing around when he felt a rush of anger and he swiped everything off his desk. Every stood talking and looked over, "WOAH HALSTEAD CALM DOWN!" Antonio shouted at him.

"Whatever!" Jay grabbed his coat and left as everyone stood in shock looking at the mess on the floor and Voight who was just stood in the office with his arms folded.

Jay got in his car and he knew what he wanted. He drove to the closest bar which was Mollys and he went inside. He saw Gabby and the bar and he walked over to her, "two beers and whiskey"

"You sure Jay?"

"YES...Im sure just give them to me!" As Gabby put the drinks up on the bar Jay picked them all up and sat at the end of the bar.

Gabby stood there and looked at Jay and looked back at Matt and Kelly, "You alright?" Matt asked her

"Yeah it's not me I'm worried about" she said turning her head back to Jay as he was drinking his beer.

 **A few hours later**

Gabby was just finishing cleaning with Hermann when Jay was still drinking at the end of the bar, "we're closing Jay, you should go home" Gabby said

Jay stood up and slurred his words, "I'll just go to another bar"

"You should go home jay sleep it off"

"I said I'm fine"

Jay was walking to the door when he dropped his keys as he pulled them out of his pocket. Casey got down on the floor and picked them up, "Maybe you should get a lift"

"I can drive... just give me the keys" Jay took a step closer

"I can drive you home" Jay took another step forward and grabbed hold of Casey, "JAY LET HIM GO!" Gabby shouted as she turned around and saw them.

"Now. Give. Me. The. Keys!" Jay said getting close to his face.

Casey lifted the keys up and Jay grabbed the keys and pushed Casey back as he left him go, "I said I was Good" he said walking out of the door.

Gabby walked over to Matt and put her hand on his shoulder, "You Okay?"

"Yeah maybe we should call Voight. Find out what happened today"

"Yeah good call" Gabby said

Jay stumbled into his car and put the keys in his car. He started driving and was swerving all over the road when he saw some flashing lights behind him. Jay pulled over and rolled down his window, "Can I see... Jay?" He heard.

Jay looked up and saw a patrolman from district 21, "I'm sorry but you were swerving"

"Yeah sorry. I had a long... few days. Just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yeah sorry for swerving I'll be more careful"

"Yeah ok-"

Jay rolled up his window and drove away as he watched the patrolman in his side view mirror. After all the fighting in the bar, Jay decided to go home and drink his own alcohol. He walked into his apartment and grabbed his liquor from the cupboard but as he walked back to the couch he saw all the pictures of Erin lined up along his cabinet.

As he took a sip of the whiskey he picked up each picture and through them all at the wall across the apartment and he listened to them all smash as they fell to the ground. Jay collapsed on his couch and carried on drinking as all he could think about was Erin and he wanted to try his hardest to forget.


	2. Chapter 2

The team were all sat waiting around when Voight came out of his office, "new case, Two females found dead-"

"Hang on, wheres Halstead?" Antonio said interrupting.

"I got a call from Gabby last night, Jay was at the bar. He was very drunk and he almost attacked Casey, Gabby said he like grabbed hold of him because he wouldn't give him his keys and then he got them back and drove home I guess" Kim said

"Yeah I had a call from Trudy this morning. I patrolman pulled Jay over last night but he just said he was tired after working... look I know it's hard Erin not being here but I know what happened and you know what happened and she is gone."

"Maybe I should find him" Antonio said

"Yeah ok. An hour tops"

"Yep" Antonio said as he grabbed his jacket and ran down the stairs.

 **Jay's POV**

I was passed out on the bed when I heard constant knocking at the door. I pushed myself up from the bed and walked to the door.

I opened the door and saw Antonio, "What do you want Tony?" I said using the door to support me.

"What are you doing Jay, this isn't you. We need you at work"

"No you don't. What's the point she's gone I'm gone"

"You know what happened Jay"

"Oh really... I didn't know that Antonio"

"Hey look, I get it. Your upset, I have been through this before as well but you can grieve but try not to lose everything in the process."

"You know what..." I turned around and walked to my jacket and pulled my Badge out. I walked back to Antonio as put it in his hand, "You Guys may need me... but I don't need you" I said before shutting the door.

 **Nobody's POV**

Antonio walked straight into the bullpen and he just looked at Voight, "Well where is he?"

Antonio placed the badge on the desk and pushed it forward as Voight picked it up, "he made his choice then" he turned around to walk into his office but Antonio followed him, "no no Voight he isn't thinking straight. Jay always knows what he wants and what he doesn't and this is the job which he wants."

"Get him back then Dawson"

"Yeah I'll try" He said as Voight walked into his office.

Antonio turned around and saw Mouse looking worried from behind his desk, "you've seen this before right?"

"Yeah I have quite a few times. It what he doesn't when something like this happens"

"Can you talk to him?"

"I normally just let him deal with it but I'll try this time."

Jay was lying on the top of his bed when he turned his head and looked at his phone. He picked it up and pressed dial and put the phone to his ear. He waited for an answer but it went straight to voicemail,

"I can't believe you left. You're a coward Erin. I loved you and you just cleared your desk without telling me. I don't even know how you expected me to be okay with his, I'll never be okay with this. You ruined my life Erin and hope you never come back!" Jay ended the call and threw his phone down onto bed.

Jay got up and quickly changed his clothes before he left the apartment. He drove and drove but he didn't really know where he was going. After about around an hour Jay found himself sat in a bar which he has been in before but he knew it wasn't for an good reasons.

He was sat drinking his beer when he heard someone come up behind him then sit down next to him, "Your a little far out of your

area mr detective"

"Umm not a detective anymore. Just wanna get drunk"

"Rough times huh" the guy chuckled to himself.

Jay sat staring at the wall when he turned to him, "you got any stuff?"

"What kind of stuff?"

"You know what kind of stuff idiot"

"This better not be a stitch up"

"Are you going to give it to me or not" Jay said as he threw a pile of money down on the bar.

The guy slid the small bag across the bar and Jay grabbed it before dropping it into his pocket, "nice doing business with you officer"

"Not a detective anymore... just getting drunk"

The guy left and Jay down the rest of his beer before getting up and leaving the bar. He got in his car and drove home. He sat on a breakfast stool in the kitchen with a beer and he was sat staring down at the stuff he bought still thinking about Erin.

He grabbed the bag and tipped some out on to the counter top and as he lined it up, he looked at the two lines and didn't hesitate. As he rolled up the dollar on the side and he did it. He felt an electrifying feeling through his body and he got up off the stool and collapsed on the couch. He took a deep breath as he let the drugs go into to system. He felt a relief, like he didn't have anything to care about anymore and like he was in his own world without anyone bothering him.

 **The next morning**

Mouse was stood knocking at his door but there was no answer. "Come on Jay open up. I know you are here, I saw your car"

Mouse knocked a few more times before he walked back to the hallway. He pulled out his phone which was ringing and put it to his ear, "Hey it's Antonio"

"Yeah I got no answer"

"What you gonna do?"

"I know what to do. I'll be back soon" Mouse put away his phone and rushed to his car and drove away.

 **At Chicago med**

Will was stood working on the computer filling in files when he saw Mouse walking over to him, "You alright Mouse?"

"Yeah I need to talk to you"

"Yeah sure come on"

Mouse followed Will into the staff room

And Will leaned up against the table, "You alright then, I was gonna come see Jay later at the district but he hasn't be answering"

"Yeah I wouldn't bother"

"Right Mouse what's going on?"

"Erin took that job in New York"

"Shit... How's Jay?"

"No one knows. He handed his badge in, getting drunk every night doing god knows what."

"Have you not seen him?"

"Antonio saw him a the other day but he just gone like crazy since Erin left. He pretty much attacked Casey at Mollys and acting and doing stupid stuff. I'm actually worried this time"

"I'll sort it"

"How?"

"Because he'll listen to me. He may scream and shout at me to go away but he always listens"

"Well I'd do it quick cause he may have not be able to stop himself from losing Erin, he's gonna lose himself his friends, family and his job"

"He'll be okay Mouse"

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	3. Chapter 3

Erin had been in New York for only about two days and she was already working. She was sat in her apartment reading through files when her phone was buzzing, "not now Jay!" She said as she read the screen and put it back down.

Erin waited until the voicemail has come through and she pressed play and listened, "I can't believe you left. You're a coward Erin. I loved you and you just cleared your desk without telling me. I don't even know how you expected me to be okay with his, I'll never be okay with this. You ruined my life Erin and hope you never come back!"

Erin was so tempted to call him back she felt so back and she actually agreed with what Jay had said. All she did was just put her phone down and go back to readying her files.

 **In Chicago**

Jay woke up and picked up his phone as it was ringing, "hello?" He muttered

"Hey it's Will"

"What do you want will?"

"You need to get to med now"

"What's going on?"

"Just get down here" Will said before putting the phone down.

Jay got up out of bed and put on some clothes and as he walked out his bedroom he went to the kitchen. He sat in front of the drugs which were left from last night and Jay couldn't stop himself anymore, he just took them and he let it take over his body. He quickly grabbed all his stuff and drove to med.

Jay walked through the doors at med and saw Maggie, "Wheres Will?"

"Breakroom"

"Thanks" Jay pushed himself off the desk and walked into the breakroom and saw Will sitting down at the table, "what's the emergency?"

"Oh there isn't one I just wanted to talk. Sit"

Jay sat down across from Will and will just started at him, "what's going on Jay?"

"Nothing is going on Will"

"Handing in your badge, drinking every night attacking your friends... what else you on then?"

"What I'm not on anything" Jay stuttered

"Jay I can see your eyes. What are you on?"

"I don't know I got it from some guy"

"For god sake Jay" Will got up from the table and slammed his hand down on the counter, "Do you want me to drag you to a rehab centre... again because I will Jay"

"So what I'm having some fun"

"Sniffing drugs isn't having fun Jay, it's throwing you whole life away."

"So what Will... it's not like I have anything left."

"Get out..."

"What?"

"You don't link you have anything then I'll not be there anymore"

"Will that's not what I mean-"

"GET OUT NOW!"

Jay stood up and walked towards the door, "next time you go for a drink or for some drugs, remember that you had people who wanted to help you and you threw that away"

Jay walked out through the hospital and sat in his car. He pulled out his phone but every time he rung Erin it just went straight to voicemail, "why did you do it Erin, we were happy. I wanted to marry you. You left and I've been an idiot... I don't really see the point anymore, I lost everyone you, Mouse, my brother. I hope you'll be happy knowing what you did."

 **Erin's POV**

I was walking through the office when my phone was buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was Jay. I still couldn't speak to him, I felt so bad. I waited until a got a text about getting a voicemail and I listened to it.

After I listened to voicemail, I ended the call and dialled my phone.

"Hank it's Erin?" I said

"Everything alright in New York"

"Yeah... um what's going on with Jay?"

"Hes... I'm not gonna lie to you Erin. He handed his badge in and he's just been out drinking and doing drugs."

"I had a voicemail from him. He was saying some stuff... he said 'I don't really see the point anymore and he's lost everyone'. I think he's gonna do something stupid. I should book a flight and come down there"

"No Erin you need a new life in New York"

"New life. How am I supposed to have a new life when I left the man I love and I'm worried he's gonna do something stupid"

"He's not an idiot Erin"

"Yeah well I'm worried. Sort it out Hank" I put the phone down and groaned.

 **Nobody's POV**

Jay had returned to Mollys, he grabbed a load of Alcohol and went and sat at the end of bar. He carried on drinking when he went to the restroom. He locked the door as he went in and turned around.

He grabbed the drugs out of his pocket and spread it out on the side. As he sniffed it up his nose he felt it travel through his system but then he didn't feel right. Jay went to the door but he could get there in time as he collapsed on the floor.

Back in the bar, Hermann was picking up all the bottles of alcohol when he looked at Gabby, "I never saw Jay leave, did you?"

"No he went into the restroom"

"Alright... I'll check on him. He's probably to drunk to even see straight" Hermann walked towards the restroom and Gabby grabbed some more glasses and put them on the bar. She stood looking at her phone when she heard Hermann, "GABBY GET IN HERE!"

"Coming" Gabby ran towards the bathroom and ran to Hermann when she saw Jay on the bathroom floor, "what happened?"

"I dunno I have to break the door down"

Gabby got down on the floor next to Jay, "Jay can you here me... Jay?" But Nothing was happening, "call an ambulance!"

Gabby put her head on jay's chest and listened, "what were you doing Jay?" Gabby said as she looked up at the drugs on the side.


	4. Chapter 4

Jay was rushed off the ambulance and into med. Gabby was next to him when Maggie ran over, "what happened?"

"He was drinking for hours. We found him collapsed in the restroom along with some form of white powder but I don't know what kind of drug. Hasn't woken up once and he's not responding"

"Right Baghdad!"

Jay was transferred onto the bed and the room filled with doctors and nurses, "get fluids in and pass me narcan" Maggie gave out her orders.

As she injected the narcan into Jay, she waited, "Dammit that should have worked. Get him to CT and MRI"

Maggie walked out as Jay was wheeled out and walked over to Gabby, "Have you told anyone?"

"No I haven't had chance. How is he?"

"He didn't respond to the narcan. We've sent him for scans but I need to know what he took"

"Wait..." Gabby dug through her pocket and pulled out the little bag, "I grabbed it when we left"

"Great I'll get it tested. You should tell jay's team?"

"Yeah I'll call Antonio"

Maggie ran off and Gabby lent up against the wall as she dialled her phone, "hey sis what's up"

"Antonio... Erm-"

"Come on Gabs really busy at work"

"You need a get to med"

"Wh... what happened are you ok?"

"Yeah no it's not me it's Jay"

"What's happened?"

"He was drinking at mollys and we found him collapsed in the restroom after taking drugs. It's not good Antonio, he's in a really bad place"

"We're coming now!" He said putting the phone down.

Antonio was listening to Gabby on the phone when he wafted his arm about in the air to get peoples attention, "We're coming now!" He put the phone down and stood up.

"We gotta get to med"

"What's happened?" Voight said coming out from his office.

"It's Jay. He's overdosed or something. He's in a bad way."

"God... let's go" Ruzek said as all the team ran out of the bullpen.

At Chicago med, Will was coming down from surgery when April came up to him, "Will, hows Jay?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since yesterday"

"Haven't you heard?"

"What April?"

"Jay was brought it"

"What... where is he?"

"They just moved him to the ICU"

"Okay" Will took a few steps back before turning around and running toward the ICU. Just as Will got through the doors he met up with the intelligence team. They walked to his room and saw Connor looking at him through the glass, "What's happened?" Will said

"Jay is in a coma"

"How did this happen?" Antonio asked

"The drugs Jay took cause swelling on his brain so we had to put him in a coma to let it reduce but if that doesn't work then we may be talking about surgery"

"Brain surgery" the muttered words fell out of wills mouth and he didn't know what to do, "Will you can go in and see him"

"Thanks Connor..." Will walked towards the door and turned around and looked at the team, "call Erin"

"Why?" Voight said

"So she can see what she did to my brother." Will said as he walked through the door and closed it behind him.

The rest of the team went and sat down in the waiting room when Antonio got up and walked off. He got to the end of the hall and put his phone to his ear, "hey it's Erin"

"Hey Erin. I thought I should call you"

"Everything alright?"

"It's Jay-"

"Yeah I know I just landed in Chicago. I had to come back to sort Jay out before he does something stupid. He's been saying some really weird stuff"

"Yeah Erin thats What... What I called you for"

Erin was walking out of the airport when she stopped, "Antonio, What's happened?"

"Jay at med, he's in a coma."

"Oh god I'm coming now" Erin put her phone away and jumped into the closest taxi, "I need to get to Chicago med" she said as he started driving.

 **At Chicago med**

Erin ran through the doors and saw Maggie, "wheres Jay?"

"ICU"

Erin didn't even bother to talk she just ran straight past and listened to what Maggie said. She hit the elevator button until it opened and she was going as fast as she could. She ran through the ICU doors when she saw the team. Erin was already crying as she got there and she stopped running as she held her hand over her mouth. She saw Voight sitting down with everyone, "What... ha.. happened?" She cried

"Jay overdosed" Will said as he came out of the door.

"I was coming to see him"

"You wanna see him huh" Will stormed over to Erin and pulled her across the floor and placed her in front of the window, "That's Jay in that bed. He's in a coma... A COMA!"

Erin stood in shock at all the tubes and wires coming out of Jay, "no Will I never wanted this to happen"

"They don't even know if he is going to make it"

"No he's can't die... I need him"

Will put his hands on Erin's shoulders and shook her, "ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU ERIN... HE LOVED YOU AND YOU LEFT. This is on you Erin!"

Erin pushed Wills arms from her shoulder and she pushed him back, "I LOVE HIM!"

"Well that doesn't look like love to me" he said before walking into jay's room and shutting the doors.

Erin stood staring at Jay through the glass and Antonio came up next to her and put his arm around her and pulled her into his chest, "He's gonna be ok"

"Wills right. This is all my fault. I should go"

Erin tried to pull away but Antonio didn't let go, "You need to stay because when Jay wakes

Up and he will. He's gonna wanna see you."

 **Please comment and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Erin had gone into Jay's room after she saw Will go home for a bit. She was sat next to Jay and she had a hold of his hand, "I'm so sorry" she cried, "why did you do it Jay, I was coming back to talk to you. I wanted to marry you Jay, but I just I thought I was already about to lose everything"

Erin sat back down in the chair when Will walked in, "What you doing in here Erin?"

"I was just speaking to Jay that's all"

"He's in a coma Erin, it won't matter"

"Of course it matters Will"

"Anyway I thought I told you that I don't want you near him"

Erin stood and looked at Will, "You know I had two voicemails from Jay and the second one he sent me, he said that he has lost you. So why would he say that Will. What happened between you two?"

"Nothing we just argued"

"About what"

"Just him drinking and taking drugs"

"You abandoned him didn't you?"

"I didn't mean it like that but-"

"And your blaming me for this. I may have gone but he still had you here and you threw him out on his ass"

"Yeah because I cared about him..." Will argued back

"I CARE ABOUT HIM TOO!"

"YOU DID THIS THIS TO HIM... YOU ERIN YOU!" Will was walking closer to Erin when Connor came in and grabbed him, "take a walk Halstead"

"What I want to be-"

"Take a walk!"

Will stormed out and Erin sat down in the chair, "You ok"

"Yeah he's just worried like everyone else"

"Just hang in there"

"Wait has there been anything new?"

"No I'm sorry Erin. Whatever he took, it was dodgy real dodgy"

"Yeah thanks Connor".

One week later

After Will and I spoke we managed to come to terms with the fact that all our arguing didn't matter while Jay was still in a coma.

I woke up in the hospital chair and saw Will and Connor, "what's going on?"

"Jay results came back from his latest scan"

"It's bad isn't it?" I got upset

"No they were good. We're gonna try and wake him up today"

"Oh thank god... so he's okay?"

"His scans may be okay but we still won't know what lasting effects this has had on him"

"Okay... yeah I know"

I grabbed jay's hand as Connor and a few other nurses started to take Jay off of the machines. After about five minutes, all the tubes were gone and he looked like Jay again. "It may take some time but this was good. Us managing to get him off these machines is the best thing that could have happened today" Connor left the room and I was left in there with Will.

"Come on Jay... just wake up" I muttered.

"I'm gonna get coffee" Will said walking out.

I say back in the chair and sat flicking through my phone. I saw so many messages from the unit in New York, I just left and I didn't tell anyone because I just wanted to get back for Jay. I scrolled down the messages and just delayed them all as I went down. I knew that right now, work wasn't important and I didn't need it.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin was snoozing in the chair when she noticed Jay move in the bed. She sat up and looked at him, "Jay?"

Hays eyes fluttered open and she looked at Erin, "Erin..."

"Yeah I'm here Jay"

"You're in New York"

"No im really here. You're in med"

"What happened?"

"You overdosed, they found you at Mollys."

Jay pulled his hand out of Erin's and just stared at the ceiling, "I don't want to talk to you right now"

"Okay and I understand why but I came back. I was coming back, I landed before this even happened. I got your voicemails and I was worried."

"Just go Erin"

"You really want me to go?"

"Yeah"

I stood up and walked out of the door but I knew I wasn't going anywhere and that Jay needed me but I have to wait for him to come to me.

 **One week later**

"I just wanna go home Will" Jay said sitting in his bed.

"Jay you were in a coma"

"Yes I know but I'm fine"

"What you gonna do then when you get out of here"

"I don't know..."

"Well we thought you tried to kill yourself idiot"

"Why would I do that"

"You know why Jay, you left Erin voicemails and they went off and got drunk and sniffed dodgy drugs"

"I don't wanna talk about Erin"

"Why not Jay, she's back"

"I'm not ready yet"

"Well you should get ready soon because she's been sleeping in that waiting room since you got brought into hospital"

"Can you just get my discharge papers"

"Yeah if that's what you want"

"Yeah I do"

Will left and Jay got up out of bed and put on his clothes, as he packed his bags Erin walked in, "You need help?"

"No i don't need your help"

"Okay okay"

Erin stepped back as Jay walked straight past her and out of his room and left.

 **Jay's POV**

I quickly left the hospital and got back to my apartment. I walked through the door and just saw a complete mess. I placed my bag in my room and walked back out and started cleaning.

I gathered up the smashed pictures and the glass off the floor and I walked over and placed them on the counter and I pulled the pictures of me and Erin and them and looked at them.

As I turned to throw the glass in the bin I saw another bottle of alcohol and some drugs I left on the side. I sat down on the stool and just stared at them, I must have been staring at them for a while and the urge was just getting more and more big. I grabbed them off the side and left the apartment.

 **Nobody's POV**

Jay was angry with himself and he was so upset. He got out of his car and walked through the apartment building and he found himself knocking on her door.

Erin walked to her door and opened it to see Jay standing there with a bottle of alcohol, "you wanna come in?"

Jay walked past her and stood near the kitchen, "I don't understand why you didn't tell me" he cried

"I didn't want to lose you and I just couldn't" Erin felt the tears forming up in her eyes.

"But I lost you... I don't want to lose you Erin" Jay put the bottle of alcohol on the side and he pulled the drugs out of his pocket and put them next to it.

"What you planning to do with that?"

"I found it in the apartment... I was gonna-" Jay was crying and trying to get his words out, "I was gonna... take it. I ca... I can't do this on my own...i need your help..."

Erin walked over to Jay and held him as he sobbed, "You're not alone Jay, I'm here and I'm going to help you through this."

Jay stretched his arms around Erin and just cried into her shoulder after finally realised what he has done to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Erin woke up in the couch after letting Jay crash at hers. She got up when she heard knocking on her door, she walked Over to the door and saw Voight, "What you doing here?"

"I don't know whats going on with the job but I've spoken to a few people and we need you back"

"Yeah I'm happy that you are offering to give me my job back and I'll take it"

"Thankyou... I'm going to talk to Halstead about how he's doing so I'll get-"

"Hank... Jay's here, he's sleeping"

"Why?" Voight looked at Erin confused.

Erin stepped out on to the apartment hallway and shut the door behind her, "he turned up last night with a bottle of alcohol and some drugs and said he needs my help. He just broke down, I've never seen him like this before"

"You both alright though"

"Yeah I think so. I'll talk to him about work and see how he's feeling"

"Good and thankyou for coming back"

"It's alright" Erin walked back into her apartment and shut the door and saw Jay stood near the wall, "who was that?"

"Hank he just came to talk to me about work"

"Oh ok"

"Jay you alright"

"Yeah Just headaches"

"Yeah you will but you're gonna alright"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't haven't come round last night... I'll get my stuff" Erin ran over to Jay and grabbed his hand as he turned around, "You're not going anywhere Jay. I'm here for you. I love you Jay"

"You really mean it this time?"

"I meant it the first time Jay so of course I do" Erin lent forward and kissed Jay and hugged him, "we'll get though this together"

"Thankyou"

Jay and Erin were sat on the couch hugging, "how'd you sleep"

"I didn't, I just can't... my mind is just going crazy"

"Yeah Jay I understand"

"I don't know why I did it. I'm such an idiot"

"You're not an idiot, you were hurt"

Jay stood up off the couch and grabbed his jacket, "I'm gonna go... I should go"

"Jay wait..." Jay just took off out of Erin's apartment and Erin stood as he shut the door and left.

 **Two days later**

Erin walked into the bullpen as it was her first day back to work but she wasn't along, "You ready?" she asked

"I think so" Jay said as he went to Voights office.

Voight opened the door as Jay knocked and he let him and Erin in. They both sat down in front of his desk and he looked at them, "So..." Voight slid Jay badge across the desk and he grabbed it, "You give this badge in again, you won't be getting back"

"Thank Voight."

"How're you doing?"

"Im ok... I struggle sometimes but works a good distraction"

"What about you two... whats going on?"

"We're happy together and we're going to stay that way" Erin held on to Jay's hand.

"Ok well glad to have you both back at work, lets go"

Erin and Jay both went out to their desks and sat down. Jay was looking down at his desk and Erin was still worried about him.

 **Jay's POV**

The urge was crazy at the minute. I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I don't know what to do. I can't tell Erin, she thinks im alright and i'm getting better but it's killing me. I just don't understand how im going to hold it all in.

I got up from my desk and rushed into the breakroom. I poured coffee into my mug and I put it down. I pulled the bag of drugs out of my pocket and looked at it, As I held on to the counter top Erin walked in, "everything alright"

"Yeah... yeah I'm good" I shoved the drugs back into my pocket as i turned around and looked at her.

"You're not okay Jay... the sweating, anxiety"

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. "I can't do it Erin"

Erin sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder, "Yes you can Jay I know you can". I sat back and pulled the drugs out of my pocket, I grabbed Erin's hand and placed them in it, "I'm sorry" I said as I got up and walked out of the bullpen.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin sat on the couch and she unfolded her hand to see the packet of white powder. She walked over to the sink and she tipped them down the drain as fast as she could before putting the bag in the trash and leaving the breakroom.

As Erin got back to her desk she picked up her phone, "please come back Jay" she texted him. Voight came out of his office and looked at jay's desk then looked at Erin, "wheres Halstead?"

"He took a break"

 **Erins POV**

I sat back in my chair as I wondered where Jay was but the more I sat there I just got a feeling of sickness. The more and more I sat there it got worse so I ran for the bathroom. As I threw up in the toilet I heard the door open, "Erin?" I heard Kim from outside the door.

I opened the door and walked out. I wiped my mouth and looked at her, "You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine... I don't know where that came from"

"Maybe you should go home if you are sick"

"Yeah I know"

I walked out of the bathroom and knocked and Hanks office door, "I'm sick. I'm gonna head home"

"Okay get better soon and find Halstead"

"Yeah I will" I turned around and grabbed my bag as I left the bullpen.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin got back to her apartment but as she walked through the door she felt the same feeling again, she ran towards the bathroom and just got there as she threw up. As she stood up from the toilet she opened the cupboard to look for some pills when she saw it. The pink box with only said one thing on the front, 'pregnancy test'

"Shit" Erin said as she pulled them out remembering she grabbed them a few days before she left.

Erin pulled a test out the box and she knew she had to do it. As she did the test she placed it on the side and waited, the timer went down on her phone and when it beeped Erin stood up and stared at the test which was upside down.

"Okay..." Erin picked up the test and as she turned it around she just felt the tears in her eyes, 'pregnant'

"Shit... shit!" Erin said as she threw the test down on the side. She put the box in the trash and slid the test into her pocket as she heard the door open.

Erin walked out into the lounge and she saw Jay stumbling through the door, "Jay?"

"Hey... Yeah sorry I was out"

"You been drinking?"

"I had two beers Erin. God sorry mom"

"You think that's funny. You drinking seen as the last time you did this you ended up in a coma."

"What do you care?"

"Because I love you Jay"

"Well it's not all about you Erin"

"She you're not gonna stop drinking for me?"

"No no im not"

"Well you may not be doing it for me but can you do it for our child" Erin pulled the test out her pocket and threw it at Jay.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Well what about our child"_ the words echoed through jay's head over and over again. As Jay bent down to pick up the test, he looked at Erin, "What the hell are you talking about... you're pregnant?"

"Yeah I just found out" Erin wiped a tear which was running down her face.

"How far"

"I don't know, a month probably"

"What are you gonna do?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I'm going to have a child Jay, our child"

"I don't-"

"You don't What... wanna raise a child... want me to have this baby" Erin ran at Jay and she pushed him out the door, "Well as long as you are drinking alcohol or on drugs then you will not be going anywhere near this child... and I will definitely not be having an alcoholic raise it" Erin slammed the door on Jay as he pounded on it.

Erin walked into the bedroom and collapsed onto her bed in a flood of tears.

Jay was outside Erin's door when he just slid down the wall and sat next to the door, "fuck!" Jay whispered to himself.

 **The next morning**

Erin got up out of bed and she rubbed her eyes as she walked into to lounge, she noticed a shadow sat outside her door. She walked over to the door and she slid down the other side of the door and sat on the floor, "Jay is that you?"

"Yeah Erin it's me"

"Why didn't you go back to your apartment?"

"Because I don't have an apartment anymore... I sold it"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you Erin and I want to be with you all the time."

"How could you do this Jay how could you get drunk"

"I wasn't drunk Erin... I wanted to see how you would react"

"Why would you do that?"

"To see if you still love me... and you got mad so i think"

Jay watched as the door unlocked and it slowly opened, "of course I still love you and you didn't have to test me". Jay stood up and wrapped his arms around Erin, "Are you really pregnant?"

"Yeah I am" Erin nodded her head as she cried

"Hey I am going to be an amazing dad to this baby"

"Please Jay you have to promise me"

"Erin I promise you... when I left the district, I went to med and I'm going to see dr Charles every week"

"Thankyou" Erin said pushing herself away.

"We're having a baby" Jay said as he looked down at her.

"We're having a baby" Erin said as she smiled and hugged Jay.

It had been a month since Jay and Erin found out they were pregnant and they were on the way to the hospital for their first scan.

As Erin jumped up and the bed, the doctor walked in, "good morning" she said.

"Morning..." Erin said

"So your first scan today. How far along do you think you are?"

"Around two months"

Erin held on to jay's hand as the doctor did the scan. Erin was watching the doctors face when it changed, "what's wrong?" Erin said.

"Well there's nothing wrong but you are a little further along than you thought"

"How far?" Jay asked

"18 weeks"

"I'm four and half months pregnant" Erin scoffed

"Yeah you are"

"How didn't I know. I haven't been sick and noticed any changes. I know I missed my period but I was going through a stressful time."

"Thats perfectly normal, some mothers don't have any sickness in the first trimester"

"I cant believe it"

"Do you want to know the sex?"

Erin looked at Jay and he nodded, "Yeah"

"I can tell you that you are having a girl"

Erin put her hand over her mouth as she just cried. Jay stood up and hugged her and she cried, "a little girl!" Jay laughed.

Erin and Jay had gotten back to their apartment when Erin was stood in the lounge looking in the full length mirror. Jay looked over and looked at her, "What the hell are you doing?"

Erin was stood sideways on the mirror with her vest pulled up and she was looking at her stomach, "don't you see anything?"

"No I don't am I supposed to"

Erin pulled her top down and slouched over to the couch, "wheres my bump?" Jay put his hand on Erin's stomach and looked at her, "it'll come don't worry but just remember in there is our tiny little baby girl.

Erin put her hand on top of jay's and smiled at him, " I'm really proud of you" Erin said as she spun round and lent on Jay.

"Thanks... I can't say it's easy like some days the urge is there but I know I have you and our baby right with me"

"Yeah you do and you can tell me when this is going on. Remember I have been through this myself."

"Yeah Who was your partner in all this"

"Hank and this wife. They took me in and treated me like I was their own even after everything I put them through with the drugs and stuff."

"God no wonder Voight wasn't stressed"

"Hey!" Erin laughed, "it was a long time ago"

"I know it was" Jay kissed erin and the top of the head as they both laid together on the couch.

 **Two days later**

"Erin get down!" Jay's shouted as he jumped on top of her as the guns went off. They both laid flat on the floor until the gunfire died off and the rest of the team came running in. Jay sat up and looked at Erin, "You alright?"

"Yeah... Yeah I'm good. Thanks"

"Partners remember" Jay said as helped Erin up off the floor.

"Yeah always" she said as they left the warehouse.

Jay was leaning up against the car when Erin moved his head, "What are you doing?"

"You cut your head. It looks deep"

"I'm good I just hit when I jumped on you"

"Speaking of that. You didn't actually have to that you know."

Jay looked around him as he put his hand on Erin's stomach, "Yeah yeah I did"

Erin smiled as he pushed his hands off, "not here Jay. I'm not ready for desk duty yet"

"I'm just scared you're going to get hurt"

"I know you are but I won't and i promise you we will tell Hank soon" Erin said as she got in the car.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin and Jay were walking toward the district when jay looked up but quickly turned around and walked towards the back entrance. Erin followed Jay and stopped him, "what's going on, who was that guy" Erin said as she noticed Jay look at him before turning around.

"When you left I went to this bar and got some stuff from that guy but we had done a bust there in the past so he knew who I was and I told him I wasn't a cop anymore and he thought I was trying to set him up and now I'm obviously back"

"And your scared he's gonna hurt you"

"No I'm scared he's gonna hurt you. These are bad people"

"I know but we will be fine" Erin put her arm around jay's waist as they walked into the building.

After Erin and Jay got to the bullpen they were sat talking in the break room, "I think we need to tell Voight today?" Jay said

"Yeah I know"

"You're five months pregnant now and you can definitely tell"

"I know I'm just worried about what he is going to say"

"Well you cant wear a massive coat for the next four months" He laughed, "let's go tell him" Jay said as he pulled Erin to her feet.

They walked into Voights office and he looked at them, "whats wrong?"

"We need to talk to you"

"Okay sit down"

"I need you to understand this wasn't planned but we are happy and we really hope you understand..."

"Erin What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant"

"Okay cool"

"Cool?"

"Erin I knew you were pregnant" Voight laughed

"How'd you know?"

"I know you Erin, sick, being late to work and you can see"

Erin turned her head and looked at Jay, "Well that was easy"

"How far along are you?" Voight asked

"Five months"

"Well congratulations" Voight said hugging Erin.

 **A few hours later**

Voight was going through the case and they were about to leave when jay's phone on his desk rung, "hello... okay I'll come down"

Jay put the phone down and stood up, "there's someone downstairs to see me"

"Okay we'll be right behind you" Voight said as he finished up the brief.

Jay jogged down the stairs and through the gate and he looked over at Trudy as she pointed to the guy by the door. Jay turned around to talk to the guy when he saw a gun, Jay didn't have time to respond as the gun was fired the bullet flew into his chest, Jay hit the floor as people ducted behind the desk.

 **Erin's POV**

I was grabbing my gun and coat when I heard it, a gunshot. I ran for the stairs as everyone followed me and as I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Jay lying on the floor. As I ran to Jay I got down next to him but as I looked up I saw the barrel of a gun.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin put her hands up to the guy as Jay pushed her back, "Get back" Jay whispered.

Erin could feel all the team behind her with their guns pulled out and they were pointed at him. Erin pushed her hands down on jay's chest but the guy wouldn't leave, "GET UP!" He shouted at Erin.

"I need to... He needs pressure on his chest otherwise he'll die"

"I'm not gonna tell you again!" He said as he put the gun in front of Erin's face, "Okay Okay"

Erin stood up and walked backwards with her hands up. "You played me Halstead!" The guy said pointing the gun at him again. As he pulled another gun out from this pants he point one at Jay and one at the team.

"You all played me"

"What are you talking about?" Voight said

"Coming in my bar and buying drugs so you could catch me. I know your game". He fired the gun and Erin's cried as it hit Jay in the leg.

"I'll be back!" The guy walked backwards out of the door and he legged it as all the officers in the building ran for the door. Erin pushed through everyone and ran over to Jay and Antonio followed her as they put pressure on his chest and leg, "Jay?" Erin cried

"It's okay, I'm alright"

"No Jay your not alright... the ambulance is coming ok just hold on."

Erin was sat under Jay supporting his head when he brought his hand up to her stomach, "Jay don't do this you're gonna be fine"

"If anything happens make sure you tell her about me"

"I won't need to Jay because you're gonna be there to take care of her with me... we still need to pick a name remember"

"I didn't tell you but I did like Harper"

"You told me you hated that name" Erin was trying her best to keep Jay talking.

"No... I did... like it" Jay closed his eyes and Erin looked at him.

"Jay... come on!" She tapped the side of his face but he would wake up. As the paramedics ran through the door, Antonio pulled Erin away as they treated him.

Erin cried into Antonio's chest as they started CPR and loaded him on to the gurney.

 **At Chicago med**

Jay was pushed into med as he was surrounded by doctors including his brother, "GSW to chest and right leg. Revived in ambo but very low blood pressure and lost of blood, mostly from his leg."

"It probably hit an artery... take him to Trauma one" as Maggie ran behind she grabbed Will before he went into the room, "you can't be in there Will. I know you want to treat him but you can't do stay here"

As the doors shut in front of Will he stood and watched his brother lying in the hospital bed.

Antonio was driving Erin to med when he looked over at her, "You're having a baby then?"

Erin rubbed her bump and looked up, "yeah a little girl" she cried

"Jay's gonna be okay, he's a fighter"

"Yeah... yeah I know"

As Antonio parked they both ran through the doors of med and Erin spotted Will straight away, Erin ran to him and looked at him, "how is he?"

"I don't know they treating him... how did his happened?"

"Some guy shot him in the district and they wouldn't let any of us near him and he just shot him again."

"AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO SHOOT THE GUY!"

"He had a gun pointed at me" Erin sobbed

"SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO NEAR MY BROT-"

Antonio grabbed a hold of Will and pushed him back, "back off will"

"It was her-" Will tried to push past Antonio when he grabbed hold of him, "she's pregnant will!"

Will pushed Antonio back and looked at Erin, "what?"

"Me and Jay... we're.. having a baby" she cried.

Erin sat down in the chair in front of jay's room as Antonio held her as she cried.


	9. Chapter 9

Jay was in surgery when the rest of the team arrived. Erin was sleeping on Antonio's shoulder when Will walked in, "I swear to god Will, if you kick off again-" Antonio said

"I won't I was angry and I took it out on Erin, i shouldn't have"

The team were all talking about Jay when Erin shot up from her seat, "Ugh" She moaned

"You alright?" Voight asked standing up

Erin grabbed hold of the chair, "I don't know whats wrong"

Kim stood up and looked at Voight, "I'll get someone"

Erin was taking deep breaths when she doubled over in pain, "Right come on" Voight and Antonio helped Erin out of the waiting room and out into the ER went Natalie came running over, "Erin whats going on?"

"Nat I'm pregnant, I think somethings wrong"

"Right come on"

Nat took Erin to a room and she got up on the bed, "How far along are you?"

"Five months"

Erin was lying on the bed when Will ran in, "You ok?"

"I think somethings wrong with the baby"

"You don't know that yet" Natalie said as she looked at Erin.

As Natalie did the scan, Will stayed with Erin and supported, "I'm sorry Erin for before"

"It's fine. I'm worried at Jay too... is everything okay?"

"Erin your baby is fine but your blood pressure is high. That is because of your stress levels"

"Is the baby in danger?"

"No as long as you try to stay calm"

"Okay thanks Nat"

Erin got up off the bed and walked out of the room when she saw Voight. She walked over to him, "Have you heard anything?"

"No he's still in surgery"

"What happened back there in the district?"

"What are you talking about?"

"No one did anything apart from us"

"Erin half of them patrolmen were new and they were worried that they were going to shoot Jay again"

"And they did so someone needs to tell them patrolmen to grow up and protect there own"

Will walked over to Erin and put his hand on her shoulder, "go easy Erin"

"I'm fine ok. I just want to make sure Jay is okay."

It was a few hours later and the doctor came through the doors, "family of Jay Halstead?"

"Yeah I'm his partner"

"Okay we got both the bullets out and Jay is stable."

"Ugh thank god"

"You can see him but he is still sleeping"

"Thank you doctor"

Erin walked to jay's room and saw him laid in the bed but he was awake, "the doctor said you were asleep"

"Yeah I just woke up". Erin laid next to Jay on the bed and kissed him, "I was so scared. I thought you were dead"

"I'm okay I'm just happy he didn't hurt you"

"Yeah I know just promise me you won't go meet anyone again that you don't know... I can't lose you before this baby is born"

"And you won't Okay I'm here to stay" Erin wrapped her arms around Jay and laid next to him in the bed.

 **Four months later**

Jay had been back at work for the past month and Erin was finally on maternity leave. Jay walked in to the bullpen and heard the phone ringing, "hello?" He said as he ran over and picked it up

"Jay it's Erin"

"Are you alright?"

"I've been having these Pains all morning... I think I might be going into labour"

"Okay okay do you want me to come home"

"No I just wanted to let you know but I will call you if anything happens Okay they need you at work"

"Okay love you" Jay said putting the phone down. Jay spun round in his chair and looked into Voights office, "just a head up, Erin thinks she's going into labour"

"Okay When is she due?"

"In a few days"

"Okay Well Go is you need to"

"Thanks Sarge"

 **Erin's POV**

I put the phone down to Jay and just laid on the couch, I really didn't want to go into labour today and she could at least wait two more days until Jay actually finishes work.

Laying down wasn't helping me so I got up off the couch and walked around the apartment but as I walked around I felt something wet. As I looked down I saw my waters had broken and I was in labour.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin was ringing and ringing Jay but he wouldn't answer, "Dammit Jay"

Erin dialled her phone again but she rung someone else who could help, "Will it's Erin"

"What's wrong?" Will listened to Erin's breathing

"I'm in labour. I can't get hold of Jay he's working"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the apartment"

"Okay I'm on my way"

"Wait wait you need to get Jay first I can not have this baby without him"

"Of course just hang in there."

 **Wills POV**

I put my phone in the pocket and looked around the ER, "Maggie I gotta go!" I shouted across to her

"Why?"

"Erin's in labour"

"Okay keep me posted"

"Sure" I ran out of the ER to my car and sped towards the district.

As I ran out of my car towards the district and noticed jay's car was in the parking lot. I ran in the building, "Trudy I need to get upstairs"

"Does your brother know your here" she said still looking down at her paper.

"I need to get to Jay, Erin is having the baby"

"Yeah yeah okay go up" she looked up at me.

 **Nobody's POV**

Jay was sat at his desk when he saw his brother come flying up the stairs, "Will?"

"Do you not answer your phone?"

Jay picked up his phone and looked at the screen, "shit it was on silent, what's going-"

"Erin's in labour, at the apartment"

"Voight Voight... I gotta go Erin's having the baby"

"Yeah go. Call me"

"Yeah" Jay ran out of the district with Will and they drove to the apartment. Jay called Erin in the car to see if she was alright, "Erin I'm on my way"

"Jay you need to hurry she isn't going to wait any longer"

"Okay we are five minutes away just hang in there"

Jay put the phone down and looked at Will, "how'd you know?"

"She called me, I was working"

"She's having our baby"

"Yeah I know... just keep it together till after the baby is born.


	10. Chapter ten

**I have noticed a couple of reviews saying my stories are boring because I write about linstead having a girl. I understand that some people don't like that but I try and write them to what people seemed to enjoy the most, however I am always open to ideas about what you may want me to write about. Anyway thank you to everyone who is supporting me and enjoying my stories so far.**

Jay ran through the apartment building and opened the door to see Erin sat in the kitchen, "You Okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay"

"Right there's an ambulance coming but we need to see how dilated you are" Will said

"Okay Yeah"

As Will checked he looked up at Erin and smiled, "I can see the head, you are having this baby right now"

"Really Oh god..."

"Erin you can do this Okay" Jay said as he grabbed her hand.

"Right Erin I need you to push"

As Erin pushed, it didn't take much and the baby came out, "She's out, she out... Jay you got a towel... Jay?" Will said as Jay was just staring at his baby

"Yeah" Jay got up and ran into the bathroom and back out with a towel in his hand. He held it out in his arms as Will placed the baby in it.

"She gorgeous Erin" Jay said as he passed her over.

Erin cried as she stared at her daughter with her partner by her side. "I can't believe it finally happened"

The paramedics arrived but after they checked both Erin and the baby and didn't feel like they had to go to the hospital.

It had been a few hours and Jay went over to Erin who was sat on the couch with their newborn daughter. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm tired but I feel amazing"

"So what is the name of our daughter then"

"You said you liked Harper so I think we should go with that"

""Harper it is"

Jay hugged his girlfriend on the couch but as he got comfy his phone started buzzing, "hello?"

"Is this Jay Halstead?"

"Yes Who's this?"

"I think you should know who this is!"

Jay went to speak as the phone was hung up, "Who was that?"

"I have no idea, they just hung up"

"Well that was weird"

"Yeah I know, I'll check it out at work"

 **I know this is really short but I'm gonna end it here as some people don't seem to be enjoying it so I hope everyone has enjoyed it. As I left it on a cliff hanger I will be turning this into a sequel so stay tuned.**


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